Rwanda, the verdant country of a thousand hills, stands as a stark reminder of what happens when we allow hatred to triumph over humanity. While best known for its genocidal past, yet striving not to be defined by it, Rwanda leads the African continent in implementing a broad policy of conflict resolution throughout its society.
Most recently, Rwanda secured a top spot on the newly developed World Bank’s Business Ready ranking due in large part to its ranking as a top performer in dispute resolution and the subsequent impact on business development. This achievement highlights Rwanda’s burgeoning dispute resolution framework and the collaborative efforts throughout the various sectors of its society.
Against this backdrop, Edwards Mediation Academy recently made its annual pilgrimage to Kigali, Rwanda’s capital city. I had the honor of delivering a commencement address to 125 EMA Mediation Skills, Rwanda course graduates. Sitting under warm skies outside the newly established Kigali ADR Center and flanked by the Honorable Mukantaganzwa, Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, and other dignitaries, I shared the following wishes for the future mediators of Rwanda.
And, while these wishes were spoken personally to our students in Rwanda, they are directed equally to all Edwards Mediation Academy’s conflict resolution students worldwide and those individuals committed to working in this still nascent profession.
My Wishes to all Aspiring Mediators
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Cultivating Humility and Compassion
I wish you the humility and grace to approach each mediation in pursuit of our shared humanity, recognizing that conflict often obscures the underlying good in each of us. Only by demonstrating compassion, empathy, and respect can we hope to restore individual dignity and build a bridge of understanding.
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Restoring Broken Relationships
As an aspiring mediator, I wish you the ability to restore broken relationships while creating a safe space for resolving disputes and civil discourse. Like Kintsugi, the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold, mediation should render new relationships stronger and more exquisite than the original.
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Illuminating the Root of Conflicts
I wish you the ability to shine your light into the dark corners of conflict, raising awareness about the underlying needs and interests that often remain in the shadows. By elevating these discussions, you may help disputing parties shift their focus and, just maybe, leave the dispute with a transformed perspective.
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Practicing Ego-less Service
I wish you the ability to keep your own ego in check as you celebrate the almost sacred opportunity to be invited into someone else’s dispute. Know that the gifts you bring of patient listening and suspended judgment will be valued above all else. Let this mindset be your North Star guiding all your actions.
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Cultivating Patience and Optimism
I wish you limitless patience and optimism, especially in rooms often filled with impatient attorneys and less hopeful disputants. And when tempted to yield to the sometimes-crushing weight of collective frustration, remember the words of Wallace Stevens,
“Long after the final no, there lies a yes, and on that yes, the future world depends.”
Sometimes, simply outlasting those less committed to the search for compromise will be the first measure of success.
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Embracing Lifelong Learning
I wish you a lifelong journey of self-awareness and reflection, understanding that learning extends beyond helping others—it is also about discovering yourself. My wish for all aspiring mediators is that by immersing yourself in other life lessons, you will also see yourself and emerge as a more competent soul.
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Prioritizing Self-Care
I wish that in your efforts to become first responders to conflict, you learn to prioritize self-care and self-compassion. Know that it’s impossible to work close to the flame of human conflict without also guarding against the kryptonite of compassion fatigue and emotional burnout. Strive for equanimity, knowing that only when there is stillness in yourself can you hope to bring stillness to others.
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Believing in the Boundless Potential of ADR
Above all else, I wish that you develop a profound belief in the unlimited potential of mediation and these important lessons, as they are equally adaptable to all manner of disputes. At a time in our history when existential conflicts abound, and cross-border collaboration may afford our only solution, aim high in your professional trajectory. Remember, in the words of the famous children’s book author Dr. Suess,
“To the world, you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world.”
A Final Reflection: The Power of Reconciliation
It’s only fitting that I leave you with the words of Paul Kagame, President of Rwanda, spoken at the U.S. National Prayer Breakfast in Washington, D.C., in February of last year:
“It is the practice of reconciliation, in matters large and small, which creates and recreates healthy nations and turns strangers and enemies into a family of citizens.”
May your journey be filled with equal parts passion and commitment. Your success will define your country’s continued transformation!
*With sincere appreciation and gratitude to Laila Ollapally, whose wishes for our recent graduates of the CAMP/EMA program inspired me to think about my own wishes for our students worldwide.
